A monthly reflection series

Before I started this change in my life, I had things.
A lot of things.

Every ad that popped up convinced me that this was the item that would make me feel better.
It would make me happy.
I would finally feel whole again.

All I needed was the newest, the latest, the greatest.

I would wait with anticipation, dreaming about how much I would accomplish once it arrived. Somehow even Amazon’s two-day delivery felt too long.

The day would finally come. I’d open the package like it was Christmas and I was twelve years old all over again.

But the thing that was going to change my life usually lasted about a week before the novelty wore off.

So many things I bought have since been rehomed, sold, or forgotten about.

None of them ever helped me emotionally.

I still felt broken.
I still felt lost.

The things I bought ended up owning me.

Thinking I needed new stuff all the time trapped me in a job I wasn’t even happy at. I was selling my freedom for things that never really improved my life.

And I don’t think I’m all that different from most people.

Cell phone companies release new phones every year with very little change between models because they know people will want the next best thing. Marketing targets that vulnerability.

Eventually I was fed up with it.

I wanted out.

I started planning to break free from the complex world I had built around myself and find a simpler way of living.

If stuff didn’t fix me, maybe un-stuffing my life would.

It wasn’t easy going through everything and deciding what I actually needed to live.
Like I said… I had a lot of things.

My need pile slowly shrank, while the pile of things that were holding me back kept growing.

I gave things away.
I sold some.
I threw a lot out.

And with each item that left, I felt a little more freedom.

Today I’m no longer paying for piles of things, and that freedom allowed me to quit a job I wasn’t happy in and choose a life that reflects who I really am.

Now I try to ask myself how each item fits into my life before I bring it with me.

I’m not perfect.

As I’ve started packing up to leave Quartzsite, I’ve noticed a few things that crept in because they were wants instead of needs.

I’m still a work in progress.
And I always will be.

But nine months into this life, I feel happier.
I feel more whole.
I feel less broken.

And even though I wander through life, I no longer feel lost.

Live simply.
Live free.